Twas the Night of Release

Twas the night of the Release, when all through the shop,
Not a developer was coding, QA made them stop;
The code was checked into TFS with care,
In hopes that the deployment team soon would be there;

The managers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of trouble free upgrades danced in their heads;
The PM in his scrum-jamas, the deploy team in the spotlight,
Him sleeping soundly, them in for a long night;

When in the PoSh console there arose such a clatter,
The team swore so loud the windows might shatter;
Away to the keyboard I flew like the Flash,
Tried to press Ctrl-C, many keys did I smash;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a cranky DBA, who plopped down on his rear;
A seasoned old DBA, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be The Rick;

More rapid than SSDs his scripts they came,
And he cursed, and shouted, and called them by name;
Now DELETE! Now, SELECT! Now MERGE and UPDATE!
On VIEW, on CTE! on CASE and TRUNCATE!

He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
And that’s how they liked it, because he was a jerk;
To the top of the server, to the top of the rack
Now upgrade away, upgrade away, upgrade the whole damn stack;

He sprang to his MINI, to his team gave high fives,
And then they all left, for their long sleepy drives;
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of town,
Happy release to all, I’m going on vacation;